Parenting Might Be the Best Leadership Training We Never Asked For

If you’ve ever navigated a child’s meltdown after a long day, you already know what it feels like when two nervous systems collide. The intensity. The overwhelm. The desire to stay grounded… while feeling anything but.

And if you’ve ever sat in an office where emotions run high, deadlines tighten, or a team hits friction, you might recognise something surprisingly similar.

Parenting and leadership often ask us to work with the same things: Big feelings, complex dynamics, competing needs, and the hope that we can meet the moment without losing ourselves.

We believe the skills we practice at home and at work aren’t as different as we think.

Why Parenting Is a Masterclass in Nervous System Leadership

When a child melts down, no amount of logic or explanation will land until their body settles.

To support that child, we don’t need perfect words. They benefit from:

• Our presence
• Our boundary-holding without emotionally shutting down
• The ability to stay steady enough to co-regulate
• Repair after the intensity

These are the same skills that shape psychologically safe, emotionally intelligent workplaces.

In fact, parents develop these muscles daily in moments where there is absolutely no time, often accompanied by a judging public eye and endless contingencies relying on that precise moment to go well.

The best part? These skills transfer beautifully into leadership: building trust, navigating conflict, de-escalating tension, and cultivating teams where people feel safe enough to think clearly again.

And the Office Teaches Us About Parenting Too

Many people find that the workplace gives them access to things that sometimes feel harder at home:

• Slowing the pace before responding
• Naming impact without blame
• Structuring boundaries
• Pausing to regulate before re-engaging
• Asking curious questions instead of assuming intention
  
  

These are leadership norms we often practice with colleagues and they become powerful tools when brought into parenting.

Because sometimes our children receive the most unfiltered version of us. And sometimes the workplace receives the most contained version of us.

Bringing these worlds closer together can open new choices in both.

When We Become Dysregulated (Because We Do)

In our latest episode of The View Looks Good Podcast (S4,E8), Ann de Passos and Kim van Niekerk talk openly about those moments where our nervous systems flip into survival mode during a child’s big emotions.

Even with the knowledge. Even with the tools. Even with the intention to “stay calm.”

We can still get overwhelmed. We can still react. We can still wish we had done it differently.

And that’s human.

Whether we’re parenting or leading, the real skill is it’s noticing when we’ve left our grounded place… and finding our way back.

That recovery is what sets the tone. At home. At work. In every relationship.

The Shared Thread: We’re Always Learning in Relationship

Both children and colleagues respond less to what we say and more to how we show up:

• Can we stay open when someone else closes?
• Can we slow ourselves when the room speeds up?
• Can we hold boundaries without withdrawing?
• Can we repair after rupture?
  
  

These are relational skills, not parental skills, not leadership skills. They’re human skills.

And parenting gives us daily, unfiltered practice. The workplace gives us structured, paced practice.

Together, they give us a full-spectrum education in what it means to be with people when things get hard.

If You’re a Parent in the Workforce, You’re Already Doing Two Growth Journeys at Once

And both journeys are making you more capable, more compassionate, and more aware than you might give yourself credit for.

So the next time you’re at work navigating a difficult conversation, notice what your parenting has taught you about staying present.

And the next time you’re at home facing a meltdown, consider what your leadership experience has already given you: the ability to come back, breathe, reconnect, set boundaries, and repair.

This is the real crossover. Not perfection. Not control. But the ongoing practice of being with humans (including ourselves) in all our intensity, softness, confusion, and courage.

If you want to explore how nervous systems can guide you at home or at work check out This is Me (our personal focussed course), This is Connecting and This is Leadership (our workplace focussed courses).

Wherever you start - everywhere will benefit.